One of the many plays I have witnessed that had me in stitches...It's a play a friend used on a woman in Galway(unsuccessfully). He got the idea after I bought him a book called "The Playbook".

"The Playbook" is a piece of literature based on the hit show "How I Met Your Mother" and written by one of it's main characters, Barney Stinson.

It is a compilation of different plays that supposedly work on women but really dont :P...They are purely for entertainment purposes only and this ejit tried out "The Terminator"



THE TERMINATOR

Success rate 60%

Attracts Girls who like bad boys

Requirments Dry Ice

Prep time Less than a minute

Bummers Have to be relatively in shape
Being nude in front of dudes
High arrest rate


THE PLAY

1. In the middle of a bar or party crouch down and activate yourdry ice.

2. Quickly strip down to the buff.

3. As the ice clears, slowly rise up and walk determinedly towardyour target and say, “I have been             sent from the future to protectyou.”

4. Have sex with her.


He didnt have the dry ice, instead he walked out of the mens bathroom in the nip...It was the funniest thing I had ever seen and probably ever will see

BROMAN EMPIRE

As you know, much of our current Western culture has its roots in classical wisdom, the majority of which can be traced back to the Ancient Broman Empire. For proof, look no further than last weekend’s toga party or those glorious melon-shaped domes on top of some buildings. 

In addition, countless Latin phrases (the most significant being “Homines Ante Feminae,” or, Bros Before Hoes) have made their way into contemporary vernacular. For these contributions, and many others, we are forever indebted to our great Broman ancestors. (Especially, Caligula. That dude was dirty. Seriously, rent the movie.) Below are ten other Latin phrases, still in common use today… 

QUID PRO BRO 

CARPE DOUBLE DIEM 

IPSO NO FATSOS 

SEMPER THIGH 

SEX OFFICIO 

E PUBUS UNUM 

SEX CETERA

PERSONA NON GRABASS 

ANNO DOMINATRIX 

DEUS SEX MACHINA 

Had to do this...Some of these made me laugh so hard

Here are 50 reasons to have sex courtesy of Lily Aldrin



1) Because you can't get to sleep

2) Make-up sex

3) Break-up sex

4) Your friend told you about a new position

5) Revenge

6) Rebound

7) Paratrooping/Banging for roof

8) Nothing good on T.V.

9) Because you're in a hotel

10) Curiosity

11) It's raining

12) It's halftime

13) Diet/Exercise

14) Celebrate recent weight loss

15) You finally get to show your childhood bed some action haha

16) Prom night

17) You're already at their place and dont want to have to move your car

18) Show off your new lingerie

19) Celebrate major victory by favourite team and/or political candidate

20) Your chance to do it in a specific location(ex: airplane, Burger King bathroom)

21) To prove we're not in a rut

22) Stress relief

23) Just shaved legs

24) Forgot to buy a birthday present

25) "Lets Get It On" by Marvin Gaye is playing on the radio

26) Celebrating the joy of life after a near death experience

27) Your one chance w/ a celebrity

28) Time an egg

29) To avoid cleaning, studying or doing work of any kind

30) She wants to

31) It's cold outside

32) Cheer someone up (pity)

33) Keeping up with the neighbours

34) Your roommate is out of town and you can do it on the couch

35) Some very protected sex to celebrate the fact that I'm not/ we're not/ you're not pregnant

36) Practice

37) They have air conditioning and you dont haha

38) Because he/she is from one of the countries you haven't had sex with a person from yet

39) "Damn, your calves look good in those cargo shorts" sex

40) Called/ texted the wrong person but she was into it anyway

41) Because she looks like your super hot cousin and this is the closest it'll ever get to being ok

42) Breaking in a new apartment

43) Because he says I love you're not ready to say it back yet

44) Wingman diving on the friend grenade

45) Your condoms are about to expire

46) It's getting a little hard

47) Miscommunication (Doritos sex)

48) To reinforce good behavior

49) To change the subject

50) Love

Blogees,

As I’ve always said: It’s important to raise awareness about certain diseases. Sometimes, people can’t raise support on their own and sometimes they raise just a little too much. I’m talking, or course, about Enormous Penis Syndrome.

EPS, also known as “Elephant’s Disease,” or “Phallumegaly,” is reported over 150 million times a year. Nearly 90% of men have aggressively come forward to claim affliction. If enough money isn’t raised, these people will have to live slightly different, possibly better lives, for the rest of their days.

In association with the Irish Medical Council, I am proud to host the first annual 10K Fun Run to benefit Enormous Penis Syndrome (EPS), thanks in large part to me. Registration on the day of the event begins at 8AM sharp, but pre-ejacu– I mean, pre-registration, is encouraged.

Any and all contributions are helpful, no matter how girthy or how small.

Thanks.

The 1st Quarter

...This year has started off badly...Still single, screw all work, still in Ireland, lost a friend, the list goes on and on...

There has been a few good things...Got to meet an awesome friend(finally), got suddenly better at tattooing almost overnight and my lyrical ability has gotten much better thanks to Finbar.

My little project of doing a sketch a day kinda finished around the middle of February, but that's kinda a good thing...I would have ended up drawing double or similars eventually

I have started work on a script with a working title of [Project: Middle Finger]...It's a 10 episode web series, each episode with a 10 minute duration...I'm torn between 2 different stories - 1 - A revenge story which is basically mindless, so it's very easy to do - And 2 - Is a bit more calculated as a search and rescue story, so this makes it a bit more of a challenge...Everything in the series is more or less the same, but I will need to pick the story to follow before I start on the dialogue...Key scenes play out the same, is what I mean, with a few minor changes depending on what story is picked.

As of last week I also began work on a rap EP titled [Insomniac]...It'll be a 6 track EP with most of the songs written by me and all performed by me...I have a rough album artwork made up, as can be seen below. Not the final design. It's just something that I want to do before I die, so I figure do it while I'm young.

In the line of my career, I am going drawing up an art book with a hundred pages of various styles of artwork, but all with a connection to tattoos...Hopefully I can get an apprenticeship this way if I decide to sell the books to tattoo shops. This is the one that will have the most work put in because it's more important than the other 2. It will all be done from my own pocket too soooo that will slow things down considerably haha.

Physically, I have recently decided to get in shape. A month ago I weighed about 10.5 stone (about 147lbs), now however I weigh about 11.78 stone (165lbs), at least 85% of the gain is muscle. My metabolism is almost skyrocketed from last year (damn bitch). Swimming, weight lifting and a butt load of running...Everyday without fail...Still not at my fittest yet...That was last June...Damn cookies are my Achilles heel.

Right now I have "Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back" playing through the MMD...The original trilogy is the best..Obviously...I'm seriously doing nothing with my life haha I'll never find myself a gf in this butthole of a town...Must once again look outside the county.

EEEEHHHHHHH yeah...There's nothing left for me to say, so guess I'll come up with updates in a week or two. Good luck cha hahaha